The Long Winter

I use stock images sometimes- but actually took these myself! Goose Creek trail.

Historically speaking, January and I have not been friends. Blame it on the cold, the post-holiday letdown, or the fact that January is about as far as a month can be from October (except for November & December, but they get a pass on account of holidays).

For the seven years I lived in Arizona, January and I had a respite from our adversarial relationship. In the southwest, that window of time is a sparkling paradise -- perfect for drinking spicy Mexican lattes and hiking desert mountains under crayon-blue skies dotted with hot air balloons. And also, you know, a nice break from the other months that will melt your face right off and not even feel sorry about it. 

It's possible that, since leaving that winter utopia, I've felt even more frigid towards the first month of the year. And January in a pandemic? I've been dreading it, hard. The cold and the gray, plus the isolation and anxiety, and the lack of things to look forward to... It felt like a lot this year. The attempted overthrow of the government didn't help, but at least I saw that one coming. 

I looked at my calendar this week and noted that January is ALMOST OVER! And yet... winter is not done, by a long shot. Neither is the pandemic. Or the escalating political discord that really piles on to the usual heaviness of the season. We've got miles to go yet, on all counts, and we all need some coping devices to get us through. I'm not telling anybody how to live their lives, but here are a few of the daily verbs that have been holding me up through this season:

• Cook. ​Maybe technically it's a chore. But something about the ritual, the act of nurture, and the full-sensory experience is wonderfully soothing. Not to mention a lot cheaper than ordering takeout (again). 
• Move. Ever since I "retired" as a dancer, I've been an intermittent gym-goer, at best. But in these lockdown days, I've tuned in to the recently-booming virtual fitness world. Now that I don't have to change clothes (because don't we all work in our stretchy pants these days?) and get in the car and actually go to somePLACE to get moving, I do it every day. And you guys... I hate to say it, but the annoying gym rats have been right all these years. It is a life changing thing to get daily physical activity into your life. My anxiety and stress levels are lower, my coping skills higher, my energy through the roof. You don't have to make it about losing weight and falling down the rabbit hole of toxic diet culture. For pushing back the winter darkness, physical activity is a 10/10 recommend, for those who are able. And when it's too gross out to go for a walk or run, it's nice to have indoor options. 
• Read. Early in the pandemic, I had zero bandwidth to sit down and read a book. Truth is, I still don't have much. But I make myself do it anyway. Maybe I get through a book once every three months instead of once every three weeks... but when I'm actually reading, many parts of my brain are happier. And it beats the hell out of doomsday scrolling before bedtime.  I've discovered the gifts of audiobooks in these months too. Someone else to tell you a story while you are accomplishing some menial task, or waiting in the car for something? Wonderful. (Will share another post soon featuring my favorite audiobooks!)
• Create. I'm the least crafty person in the world, but I write stuff. Maybe you can play an instrument, or knit things. Or build woodworking miracles in the garage. Or paint. Whatever your thing is, do that thing, at least for a few minutes a day. 
• Give. Deep down, we know January is not the problem. The whole world feels dark and heavy these days. Giving to causes (or even volunteering, if you can do so safely) that make the world the kind of place you want to live in-- this is a life-giving act of resistance. As a bonus, generosity is a spiritual discipline that benefits not just the recipient, but the giver. And finally, I recommend daily exercises in​
• LOWERED EXPECTATIONS. This one right here is key, fam. Really, let's bring our bars down lower. No, a little lower. A bit more... there it is. Whatever milestone, celebration, major life change, achievement or award you were hoping to cash in at the end of this stretch-- make like Elsa and Let It Go. You are doing enough to just show up for your life every day. Love your people, take deep breaths, help where you can, and when you find some joy in between things, then say hallelujah. 

Speaking of reading--my daughter has been reading The Long Winter, a book in the Little House/Laura Ingalls Wilder series. I never really got into those as a kid, other than little snippets here and there. But I'm familiar with the gist of this one: it's winter, it's cold, they have no food, everything is terrible, they almost die. The end. And get this-- my kid has read this before and is reading it again on purpose. For fun. 

I said "why in the world would you want to read that right now?? Isn't it so depressing?!" 
And do y'all know what this tiny thing said to me? She said, "Well, parts of it are sad. But it makes me feel happy because in the end... it's spring." 

Well. Let the child preach. 

Here in my end of Kentucky we got a beautiful big snow this week-- the kind that looks nice and is fun to play in but melts off the road quickly. I walked over to creek (crick) in my neighborhood just to stand there on the path in a quiet, wooded place for minute. The canopy of icy branches, almost cartoonishly magical, reminded me that winter does have its own kind of beauty some days, its own spiritual gifts, if we can be wise enough to witness. 

Meanwhile, the water running over the rocks of the creek bed sang its own song -- spring is coming. 

Seems like my kid and my creek have the same good news to share this week. Finish the book. Stay in this story, however sad and heavy it feels. In the end, it will be spring.  
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