Erin Wathen
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Home and Holler

I Keep Buying Bread

1/23/2021

5 Comments

 
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There are staples I buy every time I go to the store. They don't even have to go on the list, they're just part of life. Milk. Fruit. Cheese. Cereal. 

And bread. I always buy bread. 

But lately, I've noticed that when I put the groceries away, I go to put the bread in the pantry... and there is already a loaf of bread there. Sometimes half a loaf, sometimes a whole one. Interesting. 

As I tossed the new bread into the freezer (again) I took a minute to wonder what might be causing our carbs to pile up like this. Nobody is on a keto kick. 

And it occurred to me that during pandemic times, a few things have shifted. For one thing, there is no school. Which means there are no lunch boxes. Our mornings are not spent making sandwiches and cleaning up our lunch mess while we also put away the breakfast dishes. 

The other thing that has changed is The Children themselves. I do not know how this happened, but I have two tweens up in here all of a sudden. One is as tall as me, and the other is gaining fast. Since they were toddlers, they've been able to eat their collective weight in peanut butter sandwiches every week. And while their appetites grow along with them, it seems their tastes have changed. Given the fact that I have a full-time job and am not a damn maid, these grown ass children fix their own lunches now. Having no school and full access to the kitchen means that lunch is now mac cheese, frozen pizzas, quesadillas, or leftovers from dinner last night. In fact, my son commented the other day, "when we go back to school, I don't know what I'm going to take for lunch. I never really want sandwiches anymore." Aha. Bread mystery solved.

And yet, I keep buying bread. 

​I recognize the privilege inherent here- in buying something out of sheer habit whether we need it or not. Having more food in the house than we can eat in a week, having more than we need in general. So many are struggling right now. Diminished food security has been, by far, the biggest fall-out of the pandemic, with hunger affecting millions more people than the virus itself. I reckon with this imbalance by giving to causes and organizations that are working to feed people. Contributing to local needs as well as global development programs focused on food security and sustainability.

At a more micro level, this disparity makes me want to examine my habits. What else do I do on autopilot without mindfulness? What other habits have I picked up, or let go, during this weird time of lockdown? What do I have more (or too much) of? What could I make more room for if I stopped taking up unnecessary space with things I don't need? And I don't just mean in the pantry...

It makes me think about how I spend not just my money-- but my time, and myself. 

I buy more sweatpants and pajamas now; but spend a lot less on gas. I spend more time scrolling; but a lot less running around town for pointless errands. I see fewer people; but am so much more grateful for even the smallest of social interactions. I cook more and eat out less. I exercise more, but I also drink more. I miss the library and coffee shops, but I strangely don't miss so many other places where I used to spend my time. Interesting. 

Some of these evolutions are good and healthy. Some are not great. All of them are what they are. And all of them make me want to be more intentional about life in general when we go back to life as normal... whatever that means. 
This week, I won't buy bread. Maybe next week, I'll want toast for breakfast. Or I'll just forget and toss it in the cart again. Either way, my daily bread is now a daily call to mindfulness. And that, I will keep - with butter and jam. 

How about y'all? What habits have you picked up or laid down during all this craziness? How will it change your "normal" when this whole thing is over? 

​What do you "throw in the cart" without even thinking about it?
​
​And what would you have more room for if you stopped?

5 Comments
Amanda
1/23/2021 09:36:37 am

I appreciate and resonate with your observations. Thank you for encouraging mindfulness.

Reply
Erin Wathen link
1/23/2021 09:50:14 am

Thanks, Amanda! Good to hear from you.

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Carolyn Grieser
1/23/2021 12:45:05 pm

I make bread pudding. It is a basic custard mix poured over bread cubes. I add raisins, nuts, cinnamon, honey or whatever comes to mind when I'm putting it together. To make it extra special a butterscotch or caramel topping is quite tasty.

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Brenda Peterson
1/26/2021 06:00:06 am

Bourbon sauce is the best!

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Daniel L Bruns
1/24/2021 07:23:21 am

A few thoughts.

How come Facebook and YouTube know when I buy underwear but the IRS can't find me to send $600 when I get an SSI check directly deposited once a month? (That's not asking for a real response...I've tried everything. At least this way I haven't spent it yet.)

So meat went up. I use to survive pretty well on SNAP and about $800 a month. Getting hard. Thank goodness we have Biden. Just hanging on, things will get better.

My eating habits have changed thusly. Less meat. Put in soups with bullion cubes and lots of frozen veggies. Dang good on a cold day. Very inexpensive.

Drinking way more water. Good!

This agoraphobic with bad hands learned to make soup and that it hurts to spill it on fingers. There is some awesome metaphor there, I think.

If all these possibilities from President Biden work out, I can afford a cat.

In the meantime I found a way to send a note to the IRS. It was about comments on forms. But I asked them about the buying underwear, and Facebook and YouTube knowing when I do it, but them not being able to find me although SSI knows where I am. I sent a copy to my Senator as well.

My next plan is to try to order underwear from the IRS and see if Facebook sends me $600.

Repeat. I'm doing fine. I wake up happy. Spend the day happy. Go to bed happy. Just, no more spilling hot soup on my fingers.





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